Bro Bunny Boehner and the Obama Immigration Briar Patch

by John Galt
November 10, 2014 21:30 ET


Now dis be one of dem old stories from Dixie, so if youse don’t get the words, well, dat be raciss and narrow minded, if y’all gets what I mean…..

Der once was a bunny called Boehner and Bro Bunny Boehner had a problem. He just could not keep dat dere mouth shut and stop from cryin’ every time he got caught flappin dem dere gums of his.

Thus when he’ins was down off da side of da road right der by de Forbidden Immigration Briar Patch, well, youns all know what a hurtin’ was comin’ next.

Der it was a rarely warm December afternoon in dat Dixie sunshine where dat Bro Bunny Boehner was sipping some of dat McConnell Kentucky Bourbon when guess what?

Yup, dat dere wicked Masta Obama showd up and just began a yellin’ and a yellin’ at Bro Bunny Boehner. After wipin’ away dem initial tears, Bro Bunny Boehner thought he’d be da cleva one; let’s try dealing wit da Masta instead of tryin’ to pick another stupid fight wid him.

Masta Obama walked up to Bro Bunny and said, “Just what da heck do yous think yous a doin’ sippin’ dat dere bourbon on my dat dere highway in front of mys immigration briar patch dere Bro Bunny Boehner?” Tryin’ to choke back tears and swaller that there last shot of bourbon, Bro Bunny Boehner retorted, “I’s be here instead of over dere to try to talks to you and do some a negotiatin’ about dis dere briar patch befores you trow me in dere again, Masta O!”

Now Masta O’ not bein’ one to just make a snap decision if it meant he could get somethin’ extra out of it, told Bro Bunny Boehner to sell him on the idear of workins with him. Bro Bunny Boehner started to cry with joy and hoppin’ around almost spillin’ his cup of McConnell’s but he knew betta than dat and swigged it down in one greats big bunny gulp.

“Masta Obama,” Boehner began, “I gots an idear. Let’s let dem dere bygones be bygones and let’s sip some of dis McConnell Kentucky Bourbon and talk about keepin my bunny butt out from dat dear immigration briar patch as it hurts ooooooohhhh, so much. Dere be prickleys and stickers in dere and dat dere hurts!”

Masta Obama chugged down the sip of bourbon and said to Bro Bunny Boehner, “Lets me have one more of dem dere sips of Bourbon whilst I consider your generous offer.” Bro Bunny Boehner poured him another one then Masta Obama swigged it down in two big gulps.

As he smashed da glass on da ground in front of Bro Bunny Boehner’s feet, he got dats crazy man look and yelled at Boehner, “You acts like somethin’ changed last Tuesday. I’m still you Masta boy and if I want more of your bourbon, yous best give it to me or I’ll seize the whole state of Kentucky and takes it all. Yous argue with me again boy, and I’ll grow dem dere immigration briar patches in Ohio where youns is from!”

Lookin’ at dem crazy man eyes of Masta Obama, Bro Bunny Boehner gave a half-smirk, half cry and dropped to his bunny knees and begged again, “Please, please Masta O, don’t trow me in dat dere briar patch. It hurts ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh so much and my tender bunny beehind can’t handles it!”

Masta Obama looked down on the pathetic bunny, picked him up and heaved him like he was shootin’ a basketball towards the immigration briar patch. Since Masta O shot another brick, this time with the bunny, he ran up, picked up Bro Bunny Boehner and heaved him again, this time deep into the briar patch. With that last shot as good, Masta O shouted “nothin’ but net” and started to walk off to the screams of agony eminatin’ from Bunny Boehner.

Masta Obama grabbed the bottle of bourbon left on the ground and started walking up the highway sipping the spirits and mutterin’ aloud, “I’m da man, I’m da man,” over and over again. As he got further and further away the scream seemed to be getting louder until finally, Masta O couldn’t hear dat dere bunny no more.

Meanwhile deep back in the immigration briar patch, der was that silly rabbit, screamin’ and a moanin’ while swiggin’ more bourbon from another bottle he had stashed away in dat dere briar patch. As he started to scream one more time, he heard some gigglin’ from deep in de briar, which gave him a second to swig, and take a peak into da bushes. Dere day was and he couldn’t believe his eyes as two of the cutest senorita bunny babes was a sunnin’ demselves and motioning for him to join them.

“Senor Bunny, the one cutey said, would you like to stay trapped here in these briars with us for a while?” Bro Bunny Boehner felt he couldn’t be rude so of course he obliged to rub the oil on their bunny behinds and sip the tequila they brought to intoxicate him and keep him trapped as he grinned some and giggled some more in dat horrid immigration briar patch.

The moral to the story:

Don’t believe for one moment that the Republicans give a crap about the Constitution or your feelings as an electorate on the issue of illegal immigration. They will pass laws which promote opposition and obstruction to an Obama Executive Order granting amnesty yet in reality it will only be a token attempt to stop the acton because that is what the Chamber of Commerce/Karl Rove wing of the party along with the Bush Empire has been promoting for almost a decade.


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