ISISjobs.com

by John Galt
February 18, 2015 18:00 ET

Since the United States Department of State spokeswoman, Marie Harf, has unfortunately brought the “dumb blonde” stereotype back into vogue with this comment yesterday:

“We’re killing a lot of them and we’re going to keep killing more of them, so are the Egyptians, so are the Jordanians they’re in this fight with us,” Harf told Matthews. “But we cannot win this war by killing them, we cannot kill our way out of this war. We need, in the longer term, medium and longer term, to go after the root causes that leads people to join these groups, whether it’s lack of opportunity for jobs.”

I think it is only fair to point out to her that these are not your average Islamic terrorists. In fact they are quite active in social media, movie production, propaganda, and yes, job listings on their own recruitment website,ISISjobs.com. I have taken the time to translate the latest listings from Arabic into English for my readers:

Caliphate Border Patrolman – Secure the borders of the great Islamic State Caliphate and prevent the infidels from destroying our paradise. Must be willing to communicate in all languages of the Middle East and North Africa. Familiarity with automatic weapons preferred, not required. Special benefits package including Obamacare qualified medical plan available for applicants with experience using swords or riding camels. Pay commensurate with experience; special training program available for inexperienced new hires in Libya or Iraq. Apply on the internet or at any local Qatari embassy.

Apprentice Beheader – Not sure of the proper technique to sever the heads of Islam’s enemies? Have no fear as ISIS introduces a brand new 6 month apprenticeship to teach the new believer of this ancient career. Experience not required and a strong constitution required as we can not have our apprentices vomiting on live video! No pay for the first 6 months but all meals and travel covered. Eligible for Obamacare qualified medical insurance after 9 months on the job. Apply on the internet or at any local Qatari embassy.

Knife/Sword Sharpener – Due to heavy demand and usage, our fighters no longer have time to sharpen their own blades. ISIS is now looking for an experienced blade sharpener for both short bladed and long bladed instruments capable of use for slaughtering animals or infidels. Full medical and 401K included with this position. Apply on the internet or at any local Qatari embassy.

Social Media Technician – EXPERIENCE REQUIRED. ISIS is looking for that unique individual who is capable of programming and broadcasting instant responses via Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pintrest, and Tumblr. Bonus pay for those who still use and understand AOL and its purpose. Must be able to answer the Hashtag (#) assaults from the U.S. State Department and capable of teaching those evil occupiers of Palestine a lesson in 140 characters or less. No age restrictions for this position. Fully Obamacare qualified medical plan, 401K, and concealed weapons training program available for qualified applicants. Contact us at our new employment program email address: MarieHarf@isisjobs.com

MADCAMEL2

Camel Washer – After a hard day of battle and riding, our camels often need a bath and to uphold the honor of the Prophet, one can not go into battle on a dirty camel. Only an infidel would do that! No experience required and this is considered an entry level position. Positions available in Iraq, Syria, Yemen, Libya, Mali, and Paramus, NJ. Contact us at our new employment program email address: MarieHarf@isisjobs.com

ICS, aka Islam Conversion Specialist – Visited Club Gitmo and won your freedom? Want some payback? Join the ISIS team where converting infidels has never been easier. We do not necessarily need Imams or missionaries but that experience is a plus. The ability to ask, recite from the Koran, and if they refuse to convert, behead the infidel is all that is required. Apply on the internet or at any local Qatari embassy.

Fútbol Coach – Men of true Islam, it is time to start preparing for the World Cup in 2018. Qualifications include experience in teaching the fundamentals of the game while players are dressed modestly. Ability to recruit from pool of dedicated Islamist players required. Shiite coaches need not apply. Failure to win against Christian or Jewish national teams could result in immediate termination. Apply on the internet or at any local Qatari embassy.

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M1 Abrams Tank Driver – Want to see the Middle East from the safety of the best tank American can manufacture without concern of the US military killing you? Thanks to our inside connections in D.C., the safest vehicle in the world has a need for those drivers who want to crush infidels, seize control of hapless nations, and enjoy the endless genocides our organization has started throughout the Middle East and inside the IS Caliphate. High paying job for experienced drivers; compensation can be in or combination of gold, Qatari Riyals, virgins, or Camels. Contact us at our new employment program email address: MarieHarf@isisjobs.com

In all seriousness, the insanity expressed by the American regime currently in power regarding the dangerous terrorist organization ISIS, and the unwillingness to deal with this problem is apparently part of a larger program to destabilize the entire MENA (Middle East – North Africa) region and create a perpetual state of war which endangers Israel and our European allies. While clowns like the State Department spokeswoman and numerous others continue to downplay the threat, the reality that an attack on US soil is coming at any time. Sadly, this attack might be allowed to occur by this same regime so as to increase their police state powers and further destroy what remaining freedoms American citizens have at home and abroad. Remember this as internet censorship ramps up, and the ability to warn about real Islamist threats are downplayed to protect a violent type of extremism never seen on our shores.

 

 

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