The Miracle Whip Militia of Burns, Oregon

by John Galt
January 11, 2016 19:05 ET


I now understand why Stewart Rhodes of the Oathkeepers walked away from the situation in Burns, Oregon.

The Hammond family legal situation is a disaster and true injustice. The judicial system demonstrated once again why the American people can not, and worse, should not trust their fate in the hands of Federal Judges and attorneys hoping to obtain a fair hearing before an impartial jury of their peers. The Constitution is shattered yet the American people refuse to see that it is no “us” or “we the people” or much less an even more bravado proclamation of the “3 Percent will lead the way” type of outcome.

It’s more like 0.3% with 2.7% being so stupid they couldn’t find their penis with a flashlight and instructions on how to unzip their britches.

How can I prove this fact?

Please read the following “supply request list” from this so-called group of hardcore preppers holed up in the Federal Wildlife Refuge near Burns, Oregon (story via KATU-2 Oregon and the Associated Press):

Call for supplies as Oregon standoff enters second week


The occupation of national wildlife area by a small, armed group upset over federal land policies stretched into its second week as the mother of the group’s leader asked supporters to send supplies – everything from warm blankets to coffee creamer.

The group that seized the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon’s high desert country on Jan. 2 planned no media briefings. It was quiet at the entrance to the refuge Sunday.

The leader of the occupation, Ammon Bundy, has repeatedly rejected calls to leave buildings at the refuge despite pleas from the county sheriff, from many local residents and from Oregon’s governor, among others. He has said the group will leave when there is a plan to transfer control of federal land to locals.


Just how absurd is this list?

Check it out with my hardcore commentary below:


I’m from Florida. Thus the problems of snow, mud, frozen water, etc. are somewhat foreign to our preps in this part of the country as we worry more about pythons, rattlesnakes, alligators, and insects which would terrify even the most hardened Girl Scout. But even the tropically hardened nutcases like me know that you really don’t need an ice chest when there is 10 feet of snow piled up outside your back door and better yet that it is shockingly cold in the mountains of Oregon during, gasp, I know this is hard to believe, JANUARY.

Yet here we have a group of people, many of whom are from Nevada, who drove several hundred miles into higher altitudes with the idea that they were so-called “preppers” and “militia” and they don’t have thermal underwear? AND to top it off they introduced women and children into a high risk situation where their lives are endangered just like they were in Waco, Texas where the Federal Government under President Bill Clinton did not give a crap about incinerating them?

What kind of morons are these people and who the hell is leading them?

Thus why I hereby dub them them:


Notice they did not ask for toilet paper. They apparently did not bring first aid kits. If I’m reading this correctly they do not know how to make a fire nor have the ability to keep warm because God forbid anyone who lives in the mountains of Nevada or other locations would have a clue as to why it just might be snowy as hell and cold in the Oregon mountains during the freaking WINTER!

Maybe I’m just old school and hardcore. Shampoo? Conditioner? Body wash? Shaving creme (sic)?

In my day we used one bar of Ivory Soap and that lasted for weeks for all of the above as that is what I do happen to have in my bug out bag (2 bars to be exact, for washing dishes also).

Will the Miracle Whip militia survive if they don’t get the menthol smokes or the dip is not available at the local 7-11?

Do they have a knife to slice and shred cheese being they can’t accept a 5 lb. block of cheddar apparently?

Are the tampons for women or for the male internet warriors and profiteering radio hosts on the scene ready to surrender their cohorts on a moment’s notice if and when shots are fired?

Even worse than that, someone, anyone, please explain to me why a so-called “prepper” or “survivalist” or “militia” needs  #*@)!(&  slippers? I mean seriously? Slippers? Does our iddy biddy militia buddies need talking teddy bears also to comfort them at night?

Lastly, when I make my foxhole, yes, it’s true, I carry two “throw rugs” with me so as to prevent, uh, er, something, from causing discomfort.

In all my life, I have never seen a more ill conceived, poorly planned, and piss poor group of so-called leaders attempting to take a stand while looking not just weak, but pathetic while doing so.

They are an embarrassment to the Constitution movement, those who have made hard sacrifices to the “Patriot” cause, and worse, to anyone who claims to be a member of the 3%. This humiliates all of us with the issuance of this list and basically tells the Federal Officers who surround them that they will surrender in days, not weeks. If they want them to surrender tomorrow, all they would have to do is drop a Chinook helicopter to about 50 feet over cabins blaring warnings over the loudspeakers around 3:30 in the morning. That along would cause 50% of those their to stain their britches and request to surrender without a shot being fired because they can’t exist or fight without clean underwear (yes, that’s on the list).

I just wondered if they brought more than 100 rounds of ammunition each or are they putting that on a separate list hoping Mommy and Daddy might drop it off to them.

Miracle Whip?


Pass the Grey Poupon.


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