The Unofficial Presidential Debate Drinking Game: Porn King vs. Murderess

by John Galt
October 9, 2016 17:00 ET

Just when you think the Presidential race of 2016 couldn’t sink any lower, well, BOOM!

There ya go.

In the RED Corner we have the Perverted Purveyor of Pussy Policital Pontification, Donald “Grab ’em Where it Counts” Trump.

In the BLUE Corner we have the Killer of Chappaqua, the Queen of Mean, the Butcher of Benghazi, the one, the only, Hillary “You’ll like me or I’ll kill you” Clinton.

Bill Clinton will not be in attendance tonight as he wants to find some interns or teenage girls in the Virgin Islands and practice what Donald preaches.

So the rules are simple but the choice of alcohol, not so much. In honor of the anti-Russian sentiment I’m going with a 750 ml bottle of Tovaritch, a nice clean simple Russian vodka where the cover art on the bottle brings back memories of the Cold War.

And since Hitlery and Obama want a new Cold War I think I had best stock up on this award winning vodka and figure out how to build a fallout shelter in a swamp in Florida.

TOVARITCH_RUSSIAN_VODKA_tn

For purposes of this debate any key phrase mentioned by anyone on the debate stage qualifies for a shot. Since one candidate believes in major gun control but endorses drug use, the phrase “shot” refers to a shot glass of either malt liquor or liquor  and not the use of firearms on one’s television set.

The rules for this debate are simple:

DISCLAIMER: THE OWNERSHIP OF THIS WEBSITE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY HEALTH RELATED ISSUES OR OVERDAFTS ON ONE’S OBAMACARE ACCOUNT DUE TO BRAIN AND/OR LIVER DAMAGE RESULTING FROM PARTICIPATION IN THIS DRINKING GAME.

  1. “email” – 1 shot each mention
  2. “liar”   – 1 shot each mention
  3. Girls, girls, girls   – 1 shot each mention
  4. Foul Language (word used or mention of) – 2 shots
  5. Sex– 1 shot
  6. Porn– 1 shot
  7. “Putin” or “Russia” – 1 shot
  8. IF anyone mentions the word “Constitution” go ahead and pass out, you’ve earned it
  9. Hillary gets mad – 2 shots
  10. Trump gets mad – 2 shots
  11. Anderson Cooper or Radditz from ABC offended – 3 shots
  12. Hillary says Trump has the wrong Temperament – 2 shots
  13. Hillary calls Trump a woman abuser – 2 shots
  14. Trump mentions Bill Clintons sex problems – 4 shots (up from 2 in the last debate)
  15. Hillary passes out/collapses on stage – 1 cup
  16. A question about Trump’s positions on Sex from the audience – 2 shots
  17. A question about Trump’s favorite sex positions from the audience – 4 shots
  18. More sex – 2 shots
  19. Trump says Hillary protects a rapist – 2 shots
  20. Hillary says Trump is a pervert– 2 shots
  21. Audience asks about the economy – 1 shot of water (LOL, like that’s going to happen)
  22. The Democrat Planted Illegal Alien asks Trump why he wants to destroy his family – 2 shots
  23. “Corrupt Hillary” – 1 shot
  24.  Even more sex – 3 shots
  25. “Lyin Hillary” – 1 shot
  26. “Cheatin’ Hillary” – 1 shot
  27. Trump ties Hillary to the establishment – 1 shot
  28. Hillary is discovered to have an earpiece or teleprompter or other method of cheating – 6 shots (up from 4 last debate because it was discovered she cheated this way last time)
  29. Hillary snears – 1 shot
  30. Trump jokes Hillary wouldn’t know about sex or attractive women – 5 shots
  31. Trump mentions Omarosa to prove he likes black people – 2 shots
  32. Hillary screeches like an insane old lady – 4 shots
  33. Protester erupts yelling stupid things – 2 shots
  34. Lastly, any time you see anyone roll their eyes – 2 shots

And with that, I wish everyone a lot of luck. I can not be held responsible and please, for God’s sake don’t drink and drive or debate. You’ll never pass the breathalyzer test watching this crap.

3 Comments on "The Unofficial Presidential Debate Drinking Game: Porn King vs. Murderess"

  1. Zetetic | 09/10/2016 at 17:30 |

    Glad I am traveling during this meeting of the best we have to offer. Maybe I will fall asleep and meet the Langoliers.

  2. you would make the first 5 minutes…maybe

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