by John Galt
January 30, 2018 18:00 ET
Comrades, break out the big bottles!
In honor of the fake Russian dossier, I thought I would get a real headache as America celebrates President Trump’s first State of the Union Speech and Democrats with their commie pals all commit hari-kari (no, that’s not suicide sex with an aspiring Japanese teenage Hollywood actress you stupid libs) using a rusty Ginsu knife.
So let us all take a pause, gather our livers and sanity, and prepare to laugh at the liberals freaking out tonight as President Trump triumphantly recounts all of his #Winning (yup, I’m tired) and rubs salt into the wounds with his plans for this year which will probably mean, yep, you guessed it, more #Winning.
The rules are simple as usual, especially since I’m on my pre-game cocktail as I type this; 1 shot or sip depending on your experience or ability of one’s favorite alcoholic adult beverage. For the kids I suggest Bosco with milk as Hershey’s is now made in Mexico so you really don’t want to expose them to that!
DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for your liver, health, or being late for work tomorrow. DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE if you play this game. However, do not SHARE this game with your local Uber driver either.
2018 SOTU Drinking Game Rules, JohnGaltFLA style:
1 shot for each mention of “Winning”
1 shot for bigly
1 shot for YUGE
1 shot for attacks on the media
2 shots for any mention of Pelosi
2 more shots if either Pelosi walks out of the speech
3 shots if Pelosi cries or makes a weird face
1 shot for each long applause line (convenient for bathroom breaks)
3 shots for ISIS being destroyed mentioned
1 shot for each time he talks about building
2 shots for each mis-pronunciation of the word “infrastructure”
1 bottle (mine is below) for “Make America Great Again” bonds
1 shot for each “MAGA” mention (includes abbreviated version)
2 shots for Crooked Hillary
3 shots for illegal aliens
-1 (spit it out) for “must do something about the ‘dreamers’ or ‘DACA’ kids
2 shots for trade or NAFTA mentions
1 shot for mentioning Gorsuch
10 shots for slamming corrupt FBI (I suggest an 18-24 oz. glass with ice)
1 shot for thanking LEOs, first responders, and our military. Please stand up and salute when you do it.
2 shots for mentioning stock market
1 shot for tax cuts
5 shots for “Crying Chuck Schumer”
5 more shots if Schumer walks out
2 shots for any boos
3 shots for the mandatory rude liberal outburst interrupting the speech
4 more shots if the Capitol Hill police taser and beat the crap out of the protester and its caught on video
5 more shots if the protester is Rosie O’Donnell
and lastly, to give one a chance to sober up:
1 glass of water at the end so you do not dehydrate.
Thank you and have fun as all this #Winning is exhausting!