You Might be a Dick During and After a Major Hurricane if…

You say things like this:

You might be a dick if…. You don’t know what a 4 way stop is when all of the traffic lights are out. Please move back north.

You might be a dick if…. You fill up your tank and 10 more gas cans after the storm and you don’t own a generator or operate a farm.

You ARE a dick if…. You pose as a contractor and fleece old people after the storm especially if you are unlicensed in Florida.

You might be a dick if…. You raise prices on groceries during the storm so you can’t be accused of price gouging. Like $6.99 for a 6 pack of Coca-Cola or $5.29 for a bag of Utz potato chips.

You might be a dick if…. You decide to become a “hurricane tourist” just cruising around at 10 mph and screwing traffic up to take selfies or make video blogs for your social media channel.

You might be a dick if…. Your neighbor helps you put up your storm shutters but you don’t offer to help take his down.

You might be a dick if…. You blame the NHC or politicians for not evacuating when they told you to before the storm and you almost die.

You might be a dick if…. You have a sign in your front yard that says (fill in the name of your city) Strong. Seriously? It’s a freaking hurricane and we get them all the time, this one just sucked more.

You might be a dick if…. You call a local radio or TV station whining about the amusement parks like Universal or Disney being closed the day after a hurricane.

I probably could go on and on but I just had to get that off my chest.

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