It would be sad if it were not so pathetic. And no, this is NOT an attack on Trump about America’s greatest governor, Ron DeSantis.
One of New York City’s elite snobby leftist reporterettes attempts to shower disdain on my home state.
First Ms. Ignorant, West Palm Beach is not a reflection of “real” Florida as much as Disney World is a reflection of life on Tatooine. But first, let us acknowledge the glory and ignorance of Cindy Adams from the New York Post whinefest published on Sunday, January 22, 2023:
So instead of pointing out to her that some of my best hangovers have occurred between the hours of 5 a.m. and 8 a.m. in the Florida Keys while heading out on a morning fishing trip or in my younger days in the bright lights of the big cities of Tampa, Orlando, The World’s Largest Cocktail Party, or Miami, allow me to quote her insidious and false slander on the greatest state in the Union:
Enough with people schlepping to Florida. Florida began 1,400 years ago. Nobody younger has been there since. Those in the state now could’ve been original settlers. Their average age is deceased.
Reports of how wonderful the place is start mouthing the minute transplants leave the JetBlue restroom. It’s got beaches. Sand. Sky. Ocean. Warmth. Hurricanes. Galleries. Crocodiles.
Allow me to address the initial slander by claiming Florida has a lot of crocodiles. Florida does have American crocodiles, mostly residing south of I-75 in the Everglades National Park, another place you probably never have visited Cindy.
The mascot for the University of Florida, which sucks per most of us, is the “Gator” as in alligator. Yes, we have lots and lots of alligators. You see them alive crossing the highways. You see them dead from trying to cross the highways. And you see them on the menu and if one is not a snotty New York City bimblette trying to create a culture war, they are pretty damned tasty.
A “Croc” is a rubber sandal worn by New York City middle aged losers like you Cindy. If they are male, they wear knee high black socks with them while looking like a dufus on our beaches. If they are female, the disgusting cellulite on their Croc-legs bounces like the fake boobs in a New York City “high class” strip club.
I think you probably can relate to the latter, thus the graphic description for old times sake.
But wait there is more. This idiot decides that Florida has no idea about what great food is. She slams the seafood and restaurants even though hundreds of her favorite city’s greatest chefs have had enough of high taxes, high crime, knee high socks with plaid shorts, and Covidiocy:
Next most prolific item? Hearing aids. Florida restaurants come with whirring fans. Plus broiled fish/no gravy/no dressing/no fried — but not acoustic ceilings. Can’t even hear yourself tell the waiter: “No salt.”
Apparently Ms. Adams decided to eat only at Red Lobster on US 1 instead of trying the finer dining options in Florida. There are some fantastic eateries on the East Coast of Florida however the real charm comes from eating at barbecue joints in places like Arcadia or Bowling Green, seafood placed on the Keys or Walt’s in Sarasota (home town plug), and steak restaurants like Bern’s in Tampa or Bull and Bear in Orlando.
Needless to say she probably eats dinner at 6 and goes to her room to watch WMOR or Murder She Wrote as she complained about Florida’s non-stop social life.
Then of course the attacks the citizens of my home state which those of us who have traveled the country are used to. I was born here and moved in and out of my home state as my professional life required. I remember when my home town of Sarasota had less than 30,000 citizens and I-75 was a construction project while Tampa truly was a town that shut down at 8 p.m. I used to walk as a young child to watch the elephants train at the Ringling Brothers winter home just down the street as the sun set and damned straight I miss those simpler times.
Yet Cindy wants to attack the natives and newly liberated souls as if they are bland, boring, and not remotely sociable:
New York’s grid is laid out. Avenues, streets. In our civilization even migrants and vagrants find their way. Florida, not. This state has cutesy towns like Apalachicola, Okahumpka, Chattahoochee. Go meet somebody — lotsaluck
Meet someone? I worked in Okahumpka, great people and friendly rednecks. Some of the best scallops in America are in Apalachicola where one can sip a cold beer, talk to the locals, and enjoy the awesome fresh variety of fresh catch despite their infatuation with the Gators or Seminoles.
When I went to New York City on my last trip, many, many years ago (BC-Before Crime, aka, Mayor Giuliani era), it was a cold, heartless city full of assholes who had no clue what the word “courtesy” meant much less basic human politeness.
So as Cindy whines about her state and city’s population fleeing the Soviet State of New York, run by quasi-Marxist lunatics who think no bail, property rights, and the right to mug are all okie-dokey, let me remind this whiny bitch of one thing.
That article just 3 days ago is from the very newspaper you just whined in, the New York Post.
Suck on that stone crab leg, bimbo.
Enjoy your concrete, crime infested, freedom deprived, over-taxed sunset. Here is one of mine, with my own camera: